Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't he was chicken

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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A gay man kisses a gay man and therefore is considered gay.

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What do you call a joke that isn't funny? A joke that isn't funny.

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What did the duck say? Nothing. Everyone knows that ducks can't talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is a chicken and is not intelligent enough to know that he is about to be hit by a bus while hopelessly searching for food under an elderly man's nose.

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Why did the boy fail the test? He had down syndrome.

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Why could the kid not finish his homework? Because it flew out the window on the way to his parents funeral

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Why do depressed people like sharp knives? Cause there good for cutting Salad

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

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Why did the man stop running. He was tierd

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What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

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Why was Emily in Alaska? Because she and some friends had been playing Simon Says at a birthday party, and the dad had said 'Simon Says go to Alaska'.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot lacked flying skills and experience.

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Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? That depends on what his name is.

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What kind of martial arts does the Jewish man practice? Kung-Fu

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Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

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*The doctor walks in* Knock knock. Whos there? Doctor. Doctor Who?

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A three-legged prostitute, a coal miner, and R. Kelly walk into an all-midget rendition of Stravinsky's Rite of Spring. The miner has a heart attack and dies. The concubine and the vocalist do nothing to help.

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What time will the little girl get up for school? Never, she died in her sleep.

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Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops