I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What happened when the man turned on his TV? It was tuned to the Discovery Channel

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How many women does it take to ski across the pit of lava? None, they would burn and die.

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I am dyslexic

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whats funny about this joke? nothing.

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if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 10 dollars you would have 5 dollars more than Chuck Norris

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Elvis presley was taking a poop and couldnt poop cause he was dead.

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? Because it wasn't a pilot it was a toaster.

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Why didn't the priest move in with the two rabbi? Because having three adults between the ages of 18 and 65 occupying the dwelling would have violated their insurance policy.

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why did every one care when i killed my self they didn't

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/\ The joke above was really dumb. \/ The joke below is pretty good.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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What was so incredible about this bigger new oven i just bought? It could fit twice as many Jews in it. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Your mumma is so fat that she wears large clothes.

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Whats the difference between a Cadillac and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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whats funnier than 24?????????????????????????????????????????? 25

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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A duck walks into a bar and buys a drink. When the bartender comes up he says put it on my bill

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what's the difference between eric bristow and colin baker? eric bristow is brilliant at darts.

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What did the red apple say when it saw a black man an irish man, and an asian walk into a bar? nothing apples cant talk.

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why did the roof cave in? It was not structurally sound do to poor architecture

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Whats white and can't climb trees? Yogurt.

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Why is the Mexican a gardener? He has a mental disability that makes him unable to do more than a simple task.

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When you say that Chuck Norris has counted to infinity twice. I say that you cant count to infinity because it isnt a quantifyable number

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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