Are you still trying to turn me on or something? Well its not not working. Anyway, what is yogurt? So I am eating dead bacteria here? Ifs so strange I feel like I have known you my entire life.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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A man quites his job to open a coffee shop which has been a dream of his for years, The shop does well with a healthy supply of customers and a steady income,The man is now financially stable.

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What did the man say when he was having sex with his wife? That feels quite good.

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How do you piss of camon? Have sex with shelby!

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

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why did the black man sit in the back of the bus? becouse all the seat where taken in the front

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Two muffins are in the oven, one muffin says "Gosh it's hot in here!", the other muffin says "HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!".

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How do you write an anti-joke? With the keyboard Or voice recognition software

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What's even worse than getting a parking ticket on your birthday? Child molestation.

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What did the cow say to the farmer who was driving by in a tractor? MOOOOOOOO!

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first polar bear says, "Pass the soap." The second polar bear replies, "No soap, radio." OMG YOU DON'T GET IT?!?!?!?! NOOB

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whats similar between a eagle and a armidillo? they both can fly. apart from the armidillo.

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Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: None. Woodchucks do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grasp or throw anything, so the point is moot unless they evolve thumbs for the sole purpose of chucking wood.

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why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

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Q: Why was the old man sad? A: Because he has a quarter super glued to the bottom of his foot

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How do you make a professional wrestler cry? You don't

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Whats worse than a son killing his own father? His biological father finds him, 10 years later.

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What do you call a snake at a snail convention? A snake at a snail convention.

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How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

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I asked the librarian where to find a specific book. She told me where it was.

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Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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