Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, your entire family is dead.

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Ran into my ex last night, so I put my truck in reverse and did it again.

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor? Because she had no arms or legs.

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you momas so fat, you momas so ugly Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great Salvador Dali mistook them for cloth.

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What's the difference between a large pizza and a black man? The pizza is a delicious Italian classic dish, while the latter is a human being which man frown at the notion of consuming.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are finally spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinical depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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how do u get a clown to stop smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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Why could'nt Boris fit in with the other kids? His name was Boris.

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she dropped out of college.

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what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? They may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Q: Why cant dinosaurs talk A: Because they are dead.

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Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

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Love is in the air? Wrong. Nitrogen, Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide are in the air.

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LOL -LOL GUY

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what do you call a gay kid? KIRK, SAV, FRANK, or even KIRKLE THE TURTLE

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name is not Mark.

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A bass player walks past a bar. What? It could happen.

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Why did the man scream? He got his dick caught. In the zipper.

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whats worse than getting a fail on your math test? Getting shot.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

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What do you a a toilet with fecal matter in it? A toilet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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