What do you call two Ethiopians standing side-by-side? Friends

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Q: What did the one legged homeless person get for christmass? A: Frostbite.

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When life hands you lemons hand them back because you don't like lemons

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Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial Muscles.

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Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? It doesn't matter because the deaf man couldn't hear him.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

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What's funner than a barrel of monkeys ? Not the Holocaust .

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What's pink and fluffy? PINK FLUFF! What's blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF HOLDING ITS BREATH!

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what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

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guess what the quarterback did he threw the ball!

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I used to be an Adventurer like you... But then I decided that it was a dangerous form of employment and stopped.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, you're being audited.

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whats worse then falling on the ice? -getting raped by a blue whale

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Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

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You know what's funnier than 24? .... 9-11

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Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

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A girl walks into a bar she is then drugged, raped and left in a back alley. To this day she still has psychological issues that are directly related to this event

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What do you say to a man who just gave you a million dollars. thank you

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Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

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What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

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A cannibal wearing a sport coat, grey slacks, and a pink tie walks into a bar holding a duck in one hand, a chicken in the other, and chewing on a human arm. He is subsequently shot by one of the patrons. There's a concealed weapons law here.

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How many finger does a fat person have? I don't know you can never find there hands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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