Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Knock, knock. Who's there? Jesus. Jesus who? You're going to hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I've got a dig bick. You that read wrong. You also read the second sentence wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A. Why did the boy cross the road? B. Why? A. I don't know! That's why I'm asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A guy comes home from work every day to his wife, who always seems miserable. He decides that her unhappiness is making him unhappy aswell, so he sits her down to talk things over. It turns out she is depressed because she can't get a job and the back wheels of her wheelchair are rusting.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you confuse a blonde? I guess the same way you confuse someone of any other hair color.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did Batman say to Superman before they got in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

whats worse than a baby impaled on your lawn... the universe being consumed by a giant albino ape with over sized testicles

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the mexican firefighter name his 2 children? Jose and Juan.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

diarrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 24

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

“Before I know it, he’s got both of my hands in his viselike grip above my head, and he’s pinning me to the wall using his lips … His other hand grabs my hair and yanks down, bringing my face up, and his lips are on mine … My tongue tentatively strokes his and joins his in a slow, erotic dance … His erection is against my belly.”

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you get 500 babies into one bathtub? a blender. How do you get them out? NACHOOOS

thumb_up thumb_down -31

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

hold the planet Dumb ass well I'm doing something else right now dumb ass

thumb_up thumb_down -33

haha

thumb_up thumb_down -33

why cant the kid find any friends? he was stranded in a desert.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Roses are red. They also have thorns. Their family is Rosaceae and they are often given as gifts between lovers. They grow in well drained and fertile soils...

thumb_up thumb_down -33

im gay

thumb_up thumb_down -33

kk

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What would Muhammed do?

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops