What is the difference between a duck and a cow? One is an aquatic fowl and the other is a farmland mammal.

Oh my God! A talking dog!

Why was the man so fat? Because he is in a wheel chair and can't exercise.

What did the lawyer name is daughter? Caroline, in honor of his grandmother who died in THe Holocaust.

what is red white and blue? the french flag

What happens when you cross a Labrador and a Poodle. A species of dog that has been cross bred.

What is the difference between John and John Nothing

what happened when the chicken crossed the road? it got ran over by a car recently after it go killed it was eaten by a hobo and the hobo died from ring worm

An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

Q.How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A.You don't. You kill her.

What's red and smells like metal? A tricycle. It's covered in blood.

Red are roses, blue are violets I'm dislexic.

So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

Chuck Norris has appeared in several action films.

An African-American man calls KFC. An employee answers. "Thank you for calling KFC." The man replies, "I'm sorry, I must have dialed the wrong number."

All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man." The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

Someone told me once, but i had terrible memory so I had them tell me again.

A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

What is worse than finding your parents dead? You being charged for the crime.

Why Tom is Gay ? Because brocoly didnt eat a mashroom .

What do you call a man without any money? Broke.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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