What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What shall we do with the drunken sailor? Call the police to have him escorted off the boat for operating a large veichle under the influence of alcohol.

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Everything.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A very unfortunate blind fish.

Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

Did I tell you about when I hit a cat with my car? No, what happened? I hit a cat.

What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

Who are the faster readers? New Yorkers, they through 110 stories in 5 seconds

What do you call a Muslim in control of a plane? A pilot

Your momma so stupid that it's really inspiring she managed to overcome her limitations and raise such a wonderful family.

Why is life so hard? Because god isn't real

what do friends and trees have in common? If you hit them with an axe multiple times they fall over

A man shouts a women crossing the road "Oi, get your rat out love!" So she did, and it savaged his face.

How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

Did you know Helen Keller had a playground in her backyard? Neither did she

What's worse than a teacher yelling at you? The holocaust

What's bad about four black men in a car going over a cliff? It was my car.

How long does it take you to count to 5? 5 seconds.

Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waist down and had no way of feeling

What happened to the boy after his life saving surgery? He died of an unrelated disease.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It's really irrelevant when you realize this joke is about a suicidal chicken...

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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