Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: None. Bees make honey, not milk.

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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Why did the young Mexican apply for a job at McDonalds? The economy is down and his family could use the extra money.

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What is green, and could kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.

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a boy poops in class everybody laughs and now he has no friends

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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What happens when an old lady bumps into a black man in the middle of the night? He politely offers her help getting home and she accepts.

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? The Holocaust

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Doctor doctor, i think i need glasses! Go to an opticians then...

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge. Why did Sally fall off her bike? She was hit by a falling monkey and fridge.

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How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no hands. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not sally.

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Wanna know how to confuse a blonde? No. I wanna know which way you would prefer to die.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

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how many dead guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

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what has genitial warts? me

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? A dead bird

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How many seeds does a watermelon have? None. It is seedless.

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yo mama is so ugly she walked by a mirror and looked at her reflection cuz thats what mirrors do

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What's the difference between Elisabeth Fritzl and Pope John Paul II? Pope John Paul II wasn't imprisoned and raped continuously over a 24 year period in a horrific act of cruelty by his father

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How do you confuse a blonde? take the albuterol

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops