What happenes if you put an elephant in the fridge? Nothing, it wouldnt fit.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

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Why couldn't the dumbass go to colledge? He couldn't open the door.

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What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in a bin? Finding one is missing.

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- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

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How do all Asians look? With their eyes.

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

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Your mother is so heavy that she decided to try out nutrisystem

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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Knock knock, Who's there? The police, you have committed 14 major felonies and you are being arrested.

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We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

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What do you get when you put a black guy in a blender. Why are you still reading....

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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What's worse than stepping on a piece of gum? A clown following you around all day throwing toothbrushes at you. ___ Zertop™

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

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c======3

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If pro is the oppisite of con what is the oppiste of progress Congress

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If the blue man lives in the blue house, and the yellow man lives in the yellow house, who lives in the white house? The blue man. He has made a good living with a high salary and has enough money to afford two houses.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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