Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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Q: How do you turn a purple panda into a red panda A: Feed it grey poop and because it tasted so bad it got so mad it turned red.

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All this fuss about drink driving is a load of crap! I frequently drink and drive, and I've never had an accident, apart from one small collision in which my wife was paralysed from the neck down.

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A guy walks into a bar. He must have been blind or something.

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Why was the dog sweating? It was locked in a car on a hot day.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Communism

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When life gives you lemons, Commit felonies

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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Im a Tree... BARK BARK!!!

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Q: Why did the officer stop the black SUV? A: Because it was going way over the speed limit.

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penispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenis

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a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

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went to mass. remembered to say with your spirit.

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Why was the boy depressed? A. because his whole family was slaughtered on the kitchen floor.

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why did nick leave school? bECAUSE HE WAS RETARDED

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Q: What do you call a room full of black people? A: A Social Gathering.

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A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

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What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny cuase the robot had no arms.

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whats black and large -me

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why did jenny fall off the swing? because she had no arms Knock Knock Whos there? not jenny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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