Knock Knock. Who's there? Your doctor, You've been diagnosed with venereal disease.

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In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

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How do you get a one armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

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Why do black people like bananas? Because bananas have potassium which therefore gives them bigger muscles, which is why they excel at every sport we white people suck at.

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-You know what will always get people fighting? -Hey, you wanna fight?

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whats the difference between a guitar and a fish? A guitar is an instrument used to produce noise and a fish is a living orgnism native to lakes and oceans

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What do you call an african american child that hasn't eaten in a week? hungry.

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Whats the difference between a house and a mouse If you think about it , quite a lot really

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im saul and i love cock

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What did the prostitute say to the pimp? Can I have $50? She was found three minutes later beaten to death with a purple cane, and had many imprssions of rings in her skull

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There is something fishy about.... the fish curry at home

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What did the army guy say when he lost his gun. Wheres my gun.

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Your mother is so ugly that nobody wants to date her because she is hideous.

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"Have you got any Saturday jobs available?" "Yes"

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I've got the whole world! In my hands! I've got the whole world! In my hands! I've got the whole world! In my hands! Now you must listen to all of my demands or I will crush you all.

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what do fish smoke? sea weed

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Why did the black man jump off the cliff? Well , you see, this black mans name was yargle, and during his high school years, people always made nicknames for him some of which were fat yargle, yargaryar, and bottomyarg. He thought to himself that wanted revenge, So he killed the entire population of earth. Oh ya, and since he was the last human, wirhout possibility of reproduction, he went to the store and bought a can of soup

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The girl was really drunk and passed out. She woke up the next day with a hangover.

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Whats brown, large, thick, and sticky? a stick

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Why couldn't people tell the difference between the two twins? Because they were indentical.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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Chuck Norris was the leading role in the television show Walker, Texas Ranger.

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A chicken walks into a bar and orders a beer. He's not really a chicken, he's just called a chicken because he is always afraid.

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Kim Jong Un thinks that he is in shape. And when you think about it, he's right. Round is a shape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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