Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

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What is a kangaroos favorite desert? The outback

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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You're always working, why don't you spend some time with your daughter? be a good father. But i already am. We're sleeping together while you work every night.

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What is makes you more happy to see than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed up as a clown.

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Benny: Hi, my name is Benny, what's your name? A potato: ...

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Why do people carry around spoons? Because they like to do them

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Why was little Jessica missing?? She was stuck in the freezer.

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Why did the man cut his hair? Cause he has cancer

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Why couldn't the blonde have kids? She had Ovarian Cancer.

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Why don't women have breasts? Because they have dandruff. Get it? Hint: "dandruff" = "dan druff"

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What did the boy and the dog do at the park? Nothing, the dogs dead

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Finding TWO worms in your apple.

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What do you call a man named Mark? Mark

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What time do you go to the dentist? Depends on the appointment.

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Q:What do you call an insecure person A:Somebody who is likely to commit suicide

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A black man walks into a white man on the street. The white man viciously beats the black man.

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what do you call cheese that is not yours? stolen property

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Why can't the T-Rex give high fives? Because they are extinct.

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Two monkeys are lying in a tree. Big monkey and little monkey, little monkey bites the big monkey's tale, big monkey starts jumping around the place shouting. Little monkey just starts laughing and takes another sip of whiskey.

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What's worse than blowing out 1 lightbulb Blowing out 2 lightbulbs

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Two parrots were sitting next to each other. One parrot said "hey" The other parrot replied "hey" therefore making the first parrot say "hey" which made the other parrot say "hey" again making the... this conversation, comprised of just one word lasted a very long time. aproximately 16749 hours.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't so much cross the road as he did go down the road, to the supermarket, where he was sold to a family of 5, and taken down yet another road to the family's house, where they enjoyed a nice family dinner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops