- Anti Joke

roses are red so are the jews every one loved that holocaust news

Why did the heroin addict get staff infection? His skin broke open multiple times without proper cleansing.

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Chrismas? Cancer. What did he get for his birthday? Nothing, he didn't live that long

As a stand-up comedian, I've been really interested in how comedians have recovered from jokes not hitting making fun of the fact. Recently, I was in a situation where a rhetorical question didn't hit, and anti-joking (lamenting on the lack of a punchline sarcastically) ended up generating the laugh I needed to move on! Hurray for Anti-jokes! Me: You know the gym Extreme Fitness? Audience: SILENCE Me: (sarcastically) Yes, exactly. That's exactly how that interaction went in my mind when I was practising at home. I ask question - audience responds euphorically - I continue with my joke... http://michaeljagdeo.wordpress.com/2012/01/29/anti-jokes-how-to-recover-when-a-joke-doesnt-hit/

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA GASP! X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." runs

Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

Why did the little girl cry? Because she saw her future.

Q: Why couldn't the man get laid? A: Women were afraid of his 7 testes and 4 penises.

Reminds me of when I was a teen, I was working at an elderly home, and there was this really really old woman, and she was leaning forward towards me on her wheelchair, one of her hands accidentally near my crotch, I mean this granny was really senile and shit. Then she went all like, you really like it when I touch you there don't you? I mean it was not the best nor the fastest one, but all that excitement "OMG WHAT IF I GET CAUGHT BY A COLLEAGUE WHILE A 89 YEAR OLD WAS JACKING ME OFF!" Really made it all special folks... Especially when I got caught, it was like OMG STRESS ORGASM HOLY DONT CUM NOOOAAAARGHHHH!!!!!! WOHOOOOOO! I walked outta there like a champ, I was like 18 and my girlfriend/colleague which caught me was like, 27, and the next week she was 32, and before you know it, she was 46 on facebook... Thats like you know... Too old or something...

What is the difference between Madeleine McCan and a toaster? A toaster wasn't raped and murdered.

What's the difference between a bird? Both legs are the same, especially the left one

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have condoms, But we didn't use them with you. You were DP'd, Now you have STD.

why did the koala fall out of the tree? it was shot. why'd the second koala fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one. why'd the third koala fall out of the tree? it thought they were playing a game. why'd the refrigerator fall out of the tree? it thought it was a koala. why'd the man fall of his bike? it was hit by 3 koala's and a refrigerator.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Knock knock, "Whos there" a business man who wants to sell you things that you don't need "Oh, go away"

A small plane is flying across the Atlantic Ocean, on board there's a Black Guy, a Jew, a Priest, and a Mexican. The plane has engine failure and needs to crash, but luckily there are enough parachutes for everyone. The evacuation is succesful.

why was the man at the tuna fish factory mad? because he was going through intense emotional trauma happening in his life because of problems with his wife and child.

Yo mama so fat when she went to the ocean the whales started to sing we are family even though your fatter than me

Why did the black man cry? He was grieving the death of his brother C.D

THe Election

Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

whats worse than the black death. Bieber Fever

How do you stop a baby alien from crying? Watch what its mother does to soothe it and then try and copy that.

WHY DO JEWS HATE GERMANY? THEY DON'T THEY FORGAVE THE NAZIS :-) ( . )( . ) -------

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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