Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, well at least they were, until I met you!

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A: Knock knock B:The door is open.

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What's brown and slimy? brown slime

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asdf

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What's the difference between dead babies and the holocaust? A lot.

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Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

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What's the difference between 15 dead babies and a cadilac? I don't have a cadilac.

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How do you kill a retard? you shoot him in the head

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Ellen: Knock knock Steve: Who's there? Ellen: Banana Steve: Banana who? Ellen is offline and can't receive messages right now.

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If you die laughting, How are you telling this to me?

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by a giant elephant.

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Your mother's breath smells so bad that it just doesn't smell very good at all.

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Knock Knock (No response) Knock knock (No response)

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Donald Trump

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Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? were both lawyer's.

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i used to think i had the coolest secret handshake with helen keller. then i realized she was talking sh*t about me

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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Let's play twenty questions. Alright, but I have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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How do you get a priest out of a tree? Throw a canoe at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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