"Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "The police." "'The police', who?" "Sir, come out of your domicile with your hands up and no weapons present. You've just gone to an orphanage and massacred almost every nun who's worked there for almost five years. Not only that, but your son has also contracted AIDS from his previously lesbian girlfriend whom she has lost her mother too in the orphanage accident you've just caused."

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Knock-Knock Whos there? You're about to get shell shocked...

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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QUIT PUSHING DAD GUMMIT!!!

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Me and the wife spent her Birthday in bed, if you know what I mean. We're both severely disabled.

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Knock knock Who's there? (Punch the listner in the face)

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? To get to the other side.

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Hit me and kick me were on a log. Hit me fell off, swan to shore, and went home.

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What do you call an African American on the moon? An astronaut

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

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A man breaks into your house points a gun at your head and proceeds to fire a blank... The man stares at your for another minute before jumping back out of the window he crawled in from and sitting on the curb outside your house rethinking his life choices.

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Three penguins are at the top of snowy hill. The first penguin slides down the hill, and yells "RADIO!" The second penguin slides down the hill, and yells "RADIO!" Finally, the third penguin slides down and hill and yells "RADIO!"

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Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

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How do you cure aids? Jonathon siezed to care as he proceeded to cry when he was told his lemons were over the weight of what he'd expected

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Knock Knock. The doors unlocked you can come in. The two men have a nice conversation while enjoying a couple of beers and then order a pizza because they get hungry.

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What is large, heavy, tastes like poptarts, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A semi truck full of poptarts

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There was a horse in a very hot sumer day. He was in the middle of corn field It was so hot that the corns started popping out. The horse thought it was snowing and died of cold.

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Boy: Hey girl see these arms? They are just dying to be wrapped around you! She stabs him dead End of story

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. | | + | + + + + Why did the chicken get run over the farmers tractor? Because the chicken crossed the road and didn't look both ways before crossing and didn't see the tractor that ran him over. P.S. The chicken died and the farmer was arrested for animal abuse.

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this kid named terry stockton lives in craig beach ohio is gay

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almost as accidental as your spelling im afraid

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently. The marriage had been a nightmare ever since they lost their unborn child, and the situation pushed Bob to a place, where he could no longer look at his wife.

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What did the coney say to the hotdog? At least i kill people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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