A baby walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says, "what'll ya have, Sport?" The baby's family runs in with a video camera screaming for joy over his first steps.

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I saw my friend stabbing a girl. i asked what is he doing "Oh im just killing time" turns out the girls name is Time Demson. What a weird name i thought to myself.

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This is sparta No this is patrick

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Why did the chicken help people across the road all day? Because after past experiences the chicken decided to become a lollypop chicken and help people not make the mistakes he did

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oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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Oh no my baby is dead. Ha.

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Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms? Because they weren't invented when he was alive.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Your momma's so obnoxious, your dad left.

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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how long does it take a meth-head to rob your flat? not long at all, and they'll take everything. they need to, it's an addiction

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a person who will soon die of beeties

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a blonde walks into a drycleaning store to get her clothes and on her way out the empoyee behind her says come again and then the blonde says shut up u nosy bitch its just toothpaste this time!!!

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What is red and can fly? An elephant. I lied about being red. And I also lied about the flying part.

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Okay.

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a Dyslexic, Agnostic, Insomniac stayed up all night, wondering if there really was a dog.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? Poke her Face.

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Why shouldnt you take the virginity of a 14 year old? Their pre-frontal lobe is not developed enough to sufficiently judge the affect of this action on their life.

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Why did Chuck Norris fall of the cliff? Because he was pushed.

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Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

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Why did a man throw butter out the window ? So he could see butter fly and then realized that there was one on window cil

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How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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