What's up? The sky. What's down? Your mom: she was stabbed

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Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? She's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Why did the priest take a little boy into the back room? To talk about the boy's future.

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What do you call a black man standing on top of a church? "Holy-Shit."

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Making jokes about 9/11 is just plane wrong.

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Why was the boy drinking toilet water? Because he was receiving a violent swirly. He then went home and killed himself.

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Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

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david weres the slug gone

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What rhymes with float,boat,moat,coat and goat but can not be on a boat, can not float, can not be in a moat, can not be on a coat and can not ride a goat? A zoat because it's not a real word and therefore is incapable of doing any of those things.

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Why was the chicken afaid to cross the road? because there was no road.

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What's worse than a cow on the ceiling? - two cows on the ceiling.

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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Why did the girl get her hair cut off? Because she had cancer

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What happened when the man asked the girl if he could borrow her pencil? Nothing, she was deaf

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What's black and white and roams the sea floor? A zebra.

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Q: Why was the prostitute's mouth sore? A: She had multiple cavities due to poor dental hygiene.

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roses are red violets are blue your friend is a scumbag and so are you

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What is pretty, has big tits, talks like a guy, and has a dick? Your mom giving me a handjob.

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Knock knock Who's there? Brittney Spears Brittney Spears who? Knock Knock Who's there? Opps I did it again.

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When life gives you lemons ....go murder a clown.

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Do you know why i dont write poems Because i thought that violets were violets OTARTS...WAS...HERE

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What's worse than 1 bee sting ? 2 bee stings What's worse than 2 bee stings ? the holocaust what's worse than the holocaust ? 3 bee stings

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I like doodle. XoXo Jamie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops