How do you stop a rhino from charging? Kill it

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Do you work at subway? Because you are giving me a footlong. Yes, please, on white bread, with turkey, ham, white cheddar, and all of the vegetables. Maybe a little bit of sweet onion sauce and sub sauce. Sure, that will be a combo with chips. Thank you very much.

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A baby seal walks into a club. He is immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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What did the man with tourettes yell on an airplane? He yelled bomb, and was gunned down by 2 federal marshals, one of which's stray bullets happened to hit a small child with autism.

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Chuck Norris can carry very heavy objects.

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name one thing that is impossible!! A sober irishman

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How do you spell "black" when you writing an african american history essay. B L A C K

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Caller: Is your fridge running! Callee: ... umm yes? Caller: I guess you don't need my services. Thanks Callee: ok bye

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What do you call two black men screaming as loud as they can? Scared

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Knock Knock Who's there? A Crazy Rhinoceros

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Why did the downy jump off a cliff? I told him to.

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A horse walks into a bar. The waiter asks: 'Why the long face?' The horse, not understanding English, takes a crap on the floor and walks out.

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Why couldnt the woman wear her new necklace? She was decapitated

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ask me if i'm a tree are you a tree? No.

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Roses are red Violets are blu Doogie is gay I have no friends

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Q. How do you stop a clown from smiling? A. You hit it in the face with an axe.

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He--Hey guys

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A black guy and a mexican are in the backseat of a car, who's driving Their designated driver who they carefully selected as someone they thought had enough self-control to not drink and could get both of them home safely

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? (Other): "Because the P is silent." Because they're extinct.

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Why were the 3 men wearing black suits? They just left their mothers funeral, she died of terminal cancer.

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How did the polar bear get the bottle of coke? He killed the little boy

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Why did samba hurt her head? Because she fell out of her mum muff

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What do you call it when you take cheese that isn't yours? Stolen bitch, your under-arrest!

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An american man, chinese man, black man, and a Mexican man walk into a bar. The american man says i want to show you guys a trick, so they go to the empire state building and the american man jumps off the side and comes back up alive. He tells them i will do it one more time, watch closely. So he jumps off and comes back alive. The american guy tells the chinese man to do it. So the chinese guy jumps off and dies. Then the american guy tells the mexican to jumps off, sonhe does it. The mexican man dies and the black guy is told to do it and he is afraid, but still does it, he dies. The american man goes back to the bar and the barkeep says "Superman you can be a real dick when your drunk!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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