Why did you not just "put a spell" on her instead? And you are totally mean, ever actually killed someone?

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Q. What is the fastest animal in the world? A. An Ethiopian chicken.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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What did the kid with cancer get for christmas? Hope.

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Why did little Lisa fall off the swings? She had no arms

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Why did the spider cross the road? He was stuck to the bottom of my shoe!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met you

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Stephen Hawkins walks into a bar...

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How do I want to die? From Chuck Norris killing me, that would be an honor.

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What's black, hairy, and full of hate? Hitler's moustache.

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what did nena say in the library while her and her friends were on anti-jokes? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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im a barbie girl in a barbie world !!!! no your not its not phisicly possible for a plastic doll to have any form of feelings !!!!!

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Q: How do you fit two beluga whales into a mini van? A: You don't.

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One cow, determined to make a difference in the world, gets killed in a meat packing plant. We killed him, and we killed his dreams.

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My name is Jacob Mckeand and my penis is as long as Mr. Macs hair.

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What did the black man eat at a picnic? I don't know, I wasn't there.

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What did the DJ play at the disco? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill? Confused, mind bruised, it seeps out It seeps out, it seeps out Face down, home town looks so grey Looks so grey, looks so grey Convexed you bend, twist and shout Twist and shout, twist and shout Stand up brush off get moving Get moving, get moving What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? (x4) Face down, home town, face down, home town Face down, home town, it looks so grey (x4) What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? (x4) More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmania.com/monster_lyrics_automatic_the.html All about Automatic The: http://www.musictory.com/music/Automatic+The

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AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

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What do you get if you cross a football with Theo Walcott? A goal kick.

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A man walks up to a girl and says "Hello there" The girl doesn't respond because she has been deaf and blind for her entire life and doesn't know he is there. Potatoes.

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why does little Lucy have no friends? because she is in a wheelchair

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What do you call a bench full of white people The NBA

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What's green and smells like yellow paint? Green paint.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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