A horse walks into a bar. Bartender: why the long face Horse: I'm dying of an incurable cancer...

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How do you kill a black man? feed him mayonase

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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The seven dwarves sat around the house feeling Grumpy, so Grumpy left.

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Where does a blind person drive a car? Into a tree.

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Q: How do you make Helen Keller cry? A: Casually remind her that she is both blind and deaf.

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How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

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What's the difference between a fat person and a whale? The quality of the fat. -Japan

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Do homeless people get knock-knock jokes?

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What's worse than being swallowed by a blue whale? Being swallowed by a bule whale with herpes.

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(In a job interview) Interviewer: Name a time when you've failed sometime Me: I failed an HIV test last June, anything else?

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

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How can you tell if someones gay? You ask them.

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We just got a letter We just got a letter We just got a letter I wonder who it's from Oh look, it's a letter from our friends If there is a place you got to go I am the one you need to know I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! If there is a place you got to get I can get you there I bet I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map!

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yo mama so fat, she weighs 478 pounds and is in high risk of cardiovascular dieses and/or heart failure.

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whats orange, green and has a treadmill attached to it? a cantaloupe, i lied about the treadmill.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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How do you make a little boy get off a swing? You are an adult and perhaps it is inappropriate for you to be on a swing, especially when it is already occupied by a child of the right age.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Mike. Oh, come in.

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you know why Michael J Fox makes the best milkshakes? no... but his milkshakes brings all the boys to the yard

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There is a bomb. It blows up and kills 26 people.

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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An Irish, an English, a Chinese and a French are together in a boat. And it shows the diversity of our society.

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What is red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops