Did you know that if you get all your intestines, and laid it out across the floor in a line, you would die?

Is this the Krusty Krab? No, This is Patrick.

Roses are red violets are ponies I dont know what to say mircowave

why did the chicken cross the road? because it wanted to get to the other side! why did the chipmunk cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

Help I'm being raped!

Knock, knock. Who is there? Child services, here to take your children. The following day, there is another knock at the door. Who is there? The police. The woman runs into the kitchen and kills herself.

Every time you log on to a porn site, somewhere a panda cub explodes. BOYCOTT PORNOGRAPHY. SAVE THE PANDAS.

Yo mama smells so bad that she has no friends and killed herself.

What do a plane and a flight attendant have in common? They're both going somewhere in their careers. Aside from the flight attendant.

Q: why didn't the little black boy have a father? A: because he unfortunately died at the age of 48 with pancreatic cancer.

How many women does it take to arrange my new Ethan Allen furniture? Just one, I was told it was divorce present. She took it with her.

Hey wanna hear joke? ........ yeah .......me too

Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Why did the blind man die? He had eye surgery and the doctor told him when he first opened his eyes there would be a very bright light, turns out he also had alzheimers and wandered onto the train tracks

How do black men eat chicken? Chicken goes in bone come out.

Yo momma so pretty,she gets a lot of compliments.

What's white, wet, and sticky? A tissue that I just blew my nose with.

Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Several occupants leave as they realise the danger of the large animal.

Why did Daphie die? I stabbed her 487 times.

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

its snowing on mount fuji

"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

What do you call a black man with no legs? Crippled.

Why is a frog green? Because it was born that way

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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