A man walks into a bar...... He then wakes up in a hospital. along with a large bruise on his forehead.

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Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Guess no ones home.

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What do you call some one in the middle of the ocean without a boat skrewed.

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sharks

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There were two ducks in a bathtub. One duck says to the other, "Pass me the soap" The other duck replies, "What do i look like, a toaster?"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your Holocaust? Oh, wait, I said it wrong...

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A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will you have for dinner? The duck says "quack".

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Why did Peter go to the dentist? Because he had to go to the dentist!

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What do you call a dog with 5 legs? A dog with 5 legs.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who shit in my garden

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why are the new york knicks called the new york knicks.? no one gives a crap

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Why isn't this a joke? Because it's not.

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Why was the girl stupid? Because she had a low IQ

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Why did Jane's parachute not open? Because a plane hit her on the way down.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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finding out that when you had sex with that prostitute, you severely injured your urethra tube and you cannot create urine or spurm.

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Which square is small and yellow? The small, yellow square.

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What if there were no hypothetical questions?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who Doctor Octagonapus! BLAAAUUUUGGGHHHH

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

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My mom is such a bitch that no one will date her!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!TRUE STORY!! :D

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How did Justin Bieber die? He didn't. And we all need to stop making fun of that poor boy.

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When life gives you lemons, you're probably at Mr. Life's fruit stand over on Imperial Avenue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops