Roses are grey Violets are gray Tulips are grey Lilly's are grey Dandelions are grey Daisy's are grey Daffodils are grey I am colour blind.

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"Lady's and Gentlemen, hobos and trams Cross side mosquitoes and bald legged ants Pull up a chair and sit on the floor and I'll tell you I've never heard before Of one bright day in the middle of night Two dead boys got up to fight Back to Back they faced each other Drew their swords and shot each other A deaf policeman heard the noise Came and killed the two dead boys If you don't believe this lie is true Ask the blind man he saw it too"

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Yo Mama so stupid because she's been addicted to marijuana since she was a teenager, and has lost many brain cells. Resulting in her forgetting simple things like your birthday, her own name, etc. She has also developed lung cancer. She's predicted to die in two months if she continues to smoke as she does now.

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Abbie shaved her arse today....then it smiled at me

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Love Chocolate, More Than I Love You

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What's the difference between Izzy and a hobo? Nothing...they both have no job and no friends

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What would happen if RAINN Wilson, the actor, married Michael MANN, the director? They'd probably be arrested; 2 men can't get married in California anymore (thanks a lot, Utah)!

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What's worse than losing a board game? Cannibalism.

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Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Just two animals that are judged.

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What do you get when you mix a elephant and a rhino? A nasty tasting smoothie.

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bees knees

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Q: Why did the black guy cross the road? A: Hell, I don't know. He probably stole something.

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Q- what the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? A- The Wheelchair

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Yeah, but why is this honesty so important for you, personal reasons because you are like that, because you consider me a friend? Or because a single lie, could have catastrophical consequences?

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KGB Yes, How can I help? We are looking for a local serbian mobster who we believe to be hiding in this Village have you seen this man. No I cant say I have. Sorry Well thank you for your time and if you notice anything please try and let the local Police know.

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what has 2 legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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what did one tornado say to the other? im dizzy

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Why is the young Chinese boy crying? Because he is being raped.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not finding a worm in your apple, i quite like them actualy

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whats small and tickles? pubic lice

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Asians

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. What does one say to the other? Nothing. They are both inanimate objects and can't speak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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