I would rape her

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Q:what do you call a black man in a wheel chair? A: a war veteran who accidentally stepped on a land mine while trying to protect his country.

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Q: What game will Helen Keller always win? A: Marco Polo. She is a fast swimmer.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen and warns him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and otherwise damaging consequences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Why didn't the girl take her hairbrush to school? She has cancer and all her hair fell out.

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why did jimmy win the lottery? WAFFLE

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A girl and her family were walking by a cliff. Suddenly - due to a a part of the cliff falling away - her family fell over the edge and died. The girl ran to the bottom of the cliff and saw her family's body's strewn across the rocks, blood everywhere. She didn't have a phone on her and so could not call the police. She called over a man she saw in the distance. He asked "What's happened?". Just managing to stammer the words through her tears she said "My entire family fell off a cliff and died". The man unzipped his trousers and said "This really isn't your day is it love?"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm wearing pants and I'm hungry

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Why did the girl take a shower? Because she was dirty

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Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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Knock, Knock! Cum inside ;;)

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What did the man do when the woman broke up with him? He changed his facebook status to single.

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Knock knock! Who's there? F*ck. F*ck who? F*ck you.

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Knock knock Whos there? The Gestapo

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Why did the girl cross the road? Doesn't matter she got hit by a bus.

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Sometimes sentences just don't end the way that you think they potato

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A child is watching Saturday cartoons when is father walks in and, the child is aware that the father was on an all night binge and is verbally abused

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Why does the cow have spots? Because it was born that way

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What do you call a black man in church? Religious

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Roses are red, violets are blue. my Mom is a hooker.

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Why is Obama the Antichrist? Salad.

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Why is Osama bin laden so hard to find? Because he is dead.

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if a dog won't bark, there's no way you can teach it to talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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