Your friend says "Hi" What do you say back? You say "chunky salsa?" She said "what?" You think she knows you made out with her boyfriend last night. So... You blurt out " I'm SO sorry I made out with your boyfriend lastnight" Know.... Your dead meat.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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Mr.Green walks into the class. He is alone with no wife and no kids and suffers from depression. His salary is below average and he can't pay the rent this week so he'll probably get evicted. He has aids. He will die in 2 weeks.

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What do Bruce Lee and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both dead

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon. It burnt up on re-entry

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Three guys went barhopping. One slipped and broke his dick.

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Why did the corpse come to life? Because number 5 is alive!

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Your mom is so stupid she makes stupid people look not stupid.

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what did the crow say do the dead gazelle? - nothing the crow ate it

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? The boy scout comes home from camp

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Why is Adam saying numbers? He is a maths teacher.

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Yesterday i had a conversation with my husband. I asked him if he slept with another women. He said yes

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dont you love porch monkeys? no.

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Hey I just met you, and your f$#king crazy,I ate your pizza, so go get me another one!!

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Why didn't Wendy want to sit down? Because her dad put a hand full of needles in her anus. - D

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Why did the scarecrow get promoted? He was outstanding in his field

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Yo mama looks so much like a cardboard box, my kindergarten class graduated.

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Who needs god when coffee is cheaper

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the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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why are you going to laugh at this its reallly dumb

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Q: Why do black people hate country music? A: Because every time they hear "hoe down" they think someone has shot their sister.

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How many wooden chairs can a black man staple to a whales forehead? 27 because Helen Keller does not like blueberries.

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hickory dickory dock no one cares

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Q. What do you tell a women with two black eyes? A. Stop pissing him off!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops