why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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How's a raven like a writing desk. you really are alice.

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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Why did the car stop? There was a fridge in the road

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a shed? A: Considering babies are incapable of rational thought it is unlikely they would understand how to employ the correct method to paint.

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1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

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Q: How mature are you on a scale of 1 to 100? A: 69. :)

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Why would someone smile at a tumble weed? I don't know, it's an inanimate object.And is ugly Just like the couch in the basement in That 70's Show.

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How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

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What's te best part about having sex with twenty two year olds? There are 20 of them ;)

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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Whats the difference between an oven and a Jew? An oven is a manufactured and creates heat through the power of electricity or natural gas

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How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

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What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

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5

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My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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What's bigger than your penis? The Empire State Building.

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How many polish people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -One

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Why was 15 afraid of 16? Coz 16 was bigger than him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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