What do you get when you cross a blond with a plank of wood? A blond with a plank of wood on her head.

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What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

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Why is the kid over-weighted? Because he had to many calories in his diegestive system and he couldn't burn the calories

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Let's make like your mother and walk out on your family during pre-adolescence.

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why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

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Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine [Emo Philips]

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A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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SNAPPLE!

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68

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Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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If you wanna hear a joke scroll down this page more

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges don't talk

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How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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A man dressed in a white sheet shows up at an African American's door, they sit in the living room drinking coffee and watching the weather.

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Why was the wife not in the kitchen? The husband's gay.

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Are women better than men? Dont know but what we do know is they swing at bigger balls (softballs), shoot from lower basketball nets, do pushups from their knees. Shall I go on?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

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How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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