My friend told me to break a leg before the show. I disobeyed him and injured no one. It's just a figure of speech.

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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Justin Bieber

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What does this joke have in common with a ruphies party? They both have an unpopular punchline.

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A guy walks into a bar. He now has a broken collar bone.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken got crushed by a fridge.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

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Q: Whats worse than 17 babies in 1 bin. A: 1 baby in 17 bins. Q: Whats worse than that. A: 17 bins in 1 baby.

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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What was the pirate movie rated? It was rated R for its graphic depiction of the continuing violence in Somalia.

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how does an elephant ask for a bun? may i please have a bun?

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A Pole walks into a bar and gets annexed by Germany.

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You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

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whats purple with fur?nothing mammals cannot have purple fur

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A n antelope walks into a bar and many people leave for the sake of their safety and animal control gets called to escort the antelope out of the bar.

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A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed!" The 14 year old yells back "Excuse me? Do you see a fvcking pickaxe?"

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Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

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To mamas so fat shes fat

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

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Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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