how do you know if a black man's been on your computer it's gone

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There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead who sit next to each other in college. They are good students and regularly do their homework.

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What's the difference between gold and silver? Atomic number

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Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

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A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

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Knock Knock Come in!

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why was the boy sad? his friend got hit by a bus.

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9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

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Why is a bear like a cloud? They are both blue.

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Why did the person post a real joke with bad grammar and spelling on anti-joke.com? They didn't flippin' understand the point of the website.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have AIDS and now you do too!

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Whats the difference between a walnut and a baby ? Ones fun to hit with a hammer and the other is a walnut

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Ted Haggard.

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him Food Stamps.

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porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

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Why did a blind man buy a violin. To learn how to play a violin.

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Whats white and all over my room? paint

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What's wonderful about babies? They will die sooner or later....All Of Them

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"Ask me if I'm a banana." "Are you a banana?" "No."

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What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

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Nah, its fine, I just went to get a popsicle, and its square, so don't get any ideas. Honestly? When I first met "some jerk" calling himself Nero here, I began calling myself Nero, because I thought that the jerk that turned out to be you, Nero himself, sigh. was screwing over his own reputation. But now I realize that what makes you who you are, is that you say whats on your mind without going "oh no what will others think about me, what if this or that happens", you accept yourself for who you are, and if the rest do not, well screw them right? As you told me at first and proved to me during our conversations, you respect and value individuality and integrity. And well, you are a guy, you think like a guy (I honestly dont think we girls think that differently, we are simply socially indoctrinated or "engineered" in order to think that we do), I mean let me say something really honest here. Nero, I only dare say this once, so take me seriously I really want you to fuck me, and yeah, I may say that when we meet too, considering I have not even said it yet, just in my head... Anyway, its not something I am insecure about nor ever was and blahblahblah, the end, oh, and yeah, I really want and need a friend like you.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting rape.d by a giant scorpion.

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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