Did you hear about the Pole who studied for 5 days?

How do you confuse Hellen Keller? You write a really difficult riddle in braille and tell her to solve it.

A elementary school child was waiting at the bus stop for the bus to come. All of the sudden, the bus comes around the corner, pulls up, stops and he gets in.

what do you call a man with no @ss? d1ckhead

Your mom is so fat, that when she went to the doctor, the doctor told her she had Type II Diabetes.

What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

What is worse then finding a worm in your apple!? Getting raped!

why did the onion fall out of the bag? ...there was a hole in the bag so the onion fell out

What is small and gives people courage? Certain kinds of illegal drugs

A girl was walking home from school, she had a pizza box in her hands, her mom was waiting for her in the car to take her to T.G.I.F, and then she dropped the pizza box in the middle of the street. In a frantic attemp to get the box, she run out into the middle of the street and got hit by a semi. Her funeral is tomorrow.

Why did god smite the homosex man with all of heavens wrath? For shits and gigs.

If life gives you lemons, steal the declaration of independance and use the lemons and a hair dryer to reveal the numbers on the back. Then enbark on an epic journey that ends with the discovery of the templars treasure. Lastly, use the money you earned to buy some lemons and make some lemonade.

Sarah went to church one day and went into the confession booth with her pastor. He made sure nobody was in the church, and proceeded to allow her to confess. He didn't molest her. However, when Sarah got home her abusive stepfather beat her to death in an alcoholic rage and shot himself. It was on the news.

So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

What's the best way to get gum out of your hair? Cancer

There's two bears in the shower. One bear says "pass the soap". The other bear says "no soap. Radio".

What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

Superman, Batman and Spiderman are all in a race. Who wins? Grow up. Superheros aren't real.

If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

Why did the Mexican jump the fence? Because he didn't feel like walking around the house to the side where the gate was to get out of the backyard

A man walk into a bar he buys a few drinks. When he is done the bar tender gives him his check. Man told the bar tender he has no money to pay for it. Bartender says," ok how about this we have a horse in the back that hasn't laughed a day in his life if you can make him laugh you get the drinks for free." so man proceeds to do so. A few minutes later man comes out horse is dying. So the man gets his drink for free. A few days later man comes back with the same deal. So the bartender tells him" that horse hasn't stopped laughing since you went back there. If you can make him stop you get your drinks for free." Man goes in a few minutes later comes out horse is crying. Man man is remarked by how he did it but he doesn't question it. A few days past the man comes back an the horse is still crying...... So the bartender ask the man how he did..... Man says," first I told him I had a bigger dick then him....second time I proved it"

A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Sucks to be a fish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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