Why can't the boy ride his bike to school? It has no wheels.

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A hooker walks into a bar. She orders a few drinks and leaves. She's a man.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Why did the kid eat so much ice cream? Because he wanted to eat ice cream.

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AIDS

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You know what sucks? Yes.

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whats fluffy and pink? -pink fluff whats blue and fluffy? -pink fluff holding its breath.

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What's clear on the outside and grey on the inside? An elephant in a plastic bag.

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what happens when I bought a car. A man stole it from me and killed my family.

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Who saw 9/11 as a miracle? The undertakers

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car?: Starve it to death, then chop it in pieces.

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Why do black people have dark skin? Lack of melanin in their skin. You learn something new every day.

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What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern ppoorrnnoo-graphic collections.

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead

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What do you call a girl with no arms or legs on the beach? Sandy What do you call that girl tossed into the water? Sandy Duncan

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman.

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How does Helen Keller do her taxes? Unfortunately, she doesn't. Her friends have strongly encouraged her to proactively contact the IRS to see if she can undergo a repayment plan of some sort and obtain governmental assistance for her future filings.

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Q: What is the differenc between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babys? A: I dont have a lamborghini my garage.

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A man walks into a bar. Now he needs stitches on his forehead because he was walking pretty fast

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mom.what is red and green? dad. what? mom. your mama dad. you Mack me cry mom gooooooooooooooooood girl. mom have you seen gmom mom.no dad. your mom killed her girl. rely mom. yes girl.thanks she suck dick for money and now i have to get a new bed so thanks mom.ya dad. so you want to be dead mom and girl. or u want to be dead dad. help me plz nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo mom.yes girl yes

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If a little boy teleported to mars how fast would he get there? Little boys are incapable of breaking down their molecular structure in order to send their individual particles faster than the speed of light in any given direction. Thus this question is illogical and can not be answered.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Yeah I was beginning to enjoy that as well, but I used "timed hypnosis" I have not seen it been coined elsewhere yet, not that I learn hypnosis anymore, I kinda teach it covertly to whoever I believe can use it responsively. "Timed hypnosis" is not really based upon a set amount of time after all time is relative, and our subconcious does know that and the subconcius understands that we did not invent time just because we made some fucking dials spin around" Now, timed hypnosis is based on a purpose, for example: "I will go into a trance until I am done teaching my new buddy how covert hypnosis works and teach her to use it subconciously" But now I made you aware of that, so you can use it consciously as well, the real magic here is that the subconcious is so much more efficient and powerful than the conscious mind that it would not even be neccesary to have a concious mind, except for one thing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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