what do you call a monkey? a monkey

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Why did the man's legs start shaking when he saw the attractive women? There was an earthquake

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What kind of a prediction is THAT?

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Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was a cold day

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and trampoline? Well, children jump on one to obtain enjoyment, while a pile of dead babies is a sick tragedy.

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What's worse than kicking your dog? Eating it.

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Yo momma so fat that they've diagnosed her with type 2 diabetes and she has an extremely elevated risk of heart disease. You should really encourage her to try and eat better and get more exercise.

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What did the cow do when it got run over by a tractor? It died.

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When crossing the river, why the old lady die? She was hit by a falling brick that fell from an airplane.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

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A black man named Lawrence was driving a car that wasn't his at 3 a.m. The car belonged to a drunk friend who asked Lawrence to be the designated driver.

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You're so fat. Well maybe to kids born in Africa.

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Why didn't Rebecca Black take the bus? Because she would have had a heart attack with all of the seat choices.

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whats long and green? weed

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what do you call an indian dating service? you dont call it anything there all arranged marriages.

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What do you call a puppy with no limbs? It doesn't matter, he's never coming back.

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A cow walks into the butcher shop, he looks around then mourns the loss of his brothers

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What did the gay man do last night? Had a curry

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Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexic Assosiation.

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Hey my names cliff. You should drop by sometime

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What's worse than being short? Being a Tutsi in 1994.

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Pick up lines: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're wearing a university of Tennessee sweatshirt. If I could rearrange the alphabet to put 'U' and 'I' together, I would not do it because I would have to reorganize all of my alphabetized files. Is it hot in here to you or am I experiencing early signs of a stroke?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops