A pirate walks out of a bar. He drowns in a puddle.

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So this old redneck is sitting on his porch when he sees this boy walking down the road and hollers "What you got there boy?" "Chicken wire." "What you gonna do with that?" "Gonna catch me some chickens." The old guy thought: Dumb boy. You can't catch no chickens with chicken wire. Later that evening he sees the same boy walking with a bunch of chickens. The next day he sees the same boy walking with duct tape. "What you got there boy?" "Duct tape" The boy replies. "Gonna catch me some ducks." The old man leaned back and thought. "Dumb boy, you can't catch ducks with duct tape." Later that evening he sees the boy walking with a bunch of ducks. The next day he sees the same boy and hollers: "What you got there boy?" "I got me some pussy willow." The old man hollers: "Hold on, let me get my hat."

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ahhh finally removed the splinter I've had for quite some time now. Hopefully that was the last one I'll get for a while...touch wood

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A women's opinion.

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Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

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Whats the difference between a horse and a snake? A snake is poisons, a horse is not.

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Why did the yeti make an omlette? To practise making omlettes.

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Knock knock. *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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Knock Knock Who's there? ImBrewn

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what can't you see but stalks you all day and night? ME!!!

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knock, knock come in

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How many watermelons did the black man have? Too many to count, he was a farmer and his primary crop was watermelons.

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Womens Rights.

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Whats worse then world war 3 world war 4

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could DO YO MOMM!!!

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Me:hey paul did you see that story on the news? Paul:ya i did thats really crazy!

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What kind of jokes to dairy farmers tell? Corny jokes.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor"

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How did the blond become a lawyer? She didnt. After many years of collage and studying, she broke down and quit, and became a stripper.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

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What do you call a cow with no legs? A leg-less cow

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What's the difference between a rock and a baby? You can't have sex with the rock.

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What did the umpire yell to the flatulent player at bat? FOUL BOWEL!

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Why do blondes where pigtails? Because they look nice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops