Ask me if I'm a human! - Are you a human? No. The correct term would be a human being.

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Roses are black Violets are too I am a dog I don't know how to rhyme

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What does Snoop dog wash his clothes with Bleach

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What dud the dorito say to the other dorito? Nothing. Sorosis are incapable of speaking because they are doritos

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My life sucks, I'm about 20 years old, and i haven't changed aged for 15 years, I'm stuck in this dead end fast food job, my colleague hates me, my boss is a money crazed freak, my best friend is a mentally retarded immature weirdo and to top it all off, I live in a pineapple under the sea.

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When life gives you lemons....you probably just FOUND lemons...

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Single man, interested in women. Profession: Particle Physicist. Looking for: A strong interaction with a strange, charming woman. One who will ride both up and down the roller-coaster of a relationship, that is not fussy about being top or bottom and that is not impartial to the many flavours of life. I look forward to you spinning me around; Yours Sub-atomically, Professor Quark.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he coudn't find his tractor? A: "where's my tractor?"

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Your mother is so fat, she really could stand to lose a few pounds.

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I AM SOFA KING WE TOD HEAD - AV

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Hi? No!!!!!

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Why was Osama Bin Laden killed? Because he couldn't dodge all the bullets in time

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Q. How do you get a black man out of a tree? A. You get a ladder and help him down

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What happened when a Blonde girl and a Ginger man have sex without a condom? The woman gets pregnant and then after about nine months the woman gives birth and the child grows up, when the child is adolescent it is able to reproduce and the process continues again.

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A pirate walks out of a bar. He drowns in a puddle.

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Knock knock. *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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Why did the yeti make an omlette? To practise making omlettes.

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what can't you see but stalks you all day and night? ME!!!

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How many watermelons did the black man have? Too many to count, he was a farmer and his primary crop was watermelons.

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knock, knock come in

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Knock Knock Who's there? ImBrewn

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ahhh finally removed the splinter I've had for quite some time now. Hopefully that was the last one I'll get for a while...touch wood

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Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

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Whats the difference between a horse and a snake? A snake is poisons, a horse is not.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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