How do you make a plumber cry? You kidnap his family.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.

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Why couldn't the man walk? Because his leg is broken.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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What is the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Jews are a religious group. Boy scouts are a group of boys who enjoy camping and other outdoor activities.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well that, my friend, is a good question.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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What's the difference between and indian man and a barstool....... indians walked on the moon with a cow named chester.

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How are contortionists so flexible? They stretch.

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What did the pedefile say to the child? Get in the van

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Yo mama so fat because it's in her genes.

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Got tired of McDonalds Jim?

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Why did the student fail his test? Because he has AIDS

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What did one ocean say to the other ocean, nothing it just waved

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I can't remember if I have Azheimer's or not.

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Q: What has 1 eye and half of a pig's snout? A: A pig peeking around a corner.

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Why was the boy praying? Because both of his parents had just been brutally murdered in front of him and he was analy defiled by the assailant and left alive to have live with the pain of seeing both of his parents be killed. He had also dropped his lollipop.

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KKK

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My sister had a lemonade stand once. And one time, she spilled.

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What is blue and angry? Mr Johnston wearing his green dress. I'm colour blind but he came round to my way of thinking in the end.

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What is worse than seeing your whole family die? Leaving your wallet on the bus.

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Why is Osama bimladin dead? Because he was a threat to American for many years, and someone finally found him and killed him.

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I'll give you a nickel to lick my pickle, a dime to take your time and a quarter if I can f*ck you in the ass

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A woman walks into a bar. Guys aren't the only ones walking into bars.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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