- Anti Joke

What do you get when you cross a canary and a lawnmower? Nothing. A canary is a small bird, and a lawnmower is an inanimate object. Any procreation of this sort would likely produce no offspring.

So a baby seal walks into a club...

What's worse than an avalanche? Being raped in prison.

Today is May 18 2016.

Do you know what will hurt? Getting hurt.

And love is, bein' the owner of a company that makes rape whistles and even though you started the company with good intentions trying to reduce the rate of rape, now you don't wanna reduce it at all cuz if the rape rate declines you'll see an equal decline in whistle sales. Without rapists, who's gonna buy your whistles? Who's gonna buy your whistles? Love is all about whistles.

What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

Why Did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

Why did Martin have to retake his exams? Because Martin is a right royal Dumbass.

"Doctor! Doctor! It hurts when I urinate!" "you may have a kidney stone"

What's a black man's favorite food? It depends.

A black man, Jew, and Asian walk into a bar... What does the bartender say? get out.

What did one potato say to the other. Let's get baked!( hope u dont mind that this isnt a anti-joke well i dont know what it is so sue me)

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon

Why was Jimmy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his forehead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Roses are red, Violets are blue. So was my son after I beat him to death.

What's 17 times worse than a 3? I don't know, personally I don't think 3's are so bad.

Why'd Sam run away Because charlie bit his finger

How many Jews does it take to fix a gas leak?...

When life gives you melons, youre probably dyslexic.

Why did the prostitute survive the gunshot? She was wearing a bulletproff vest.

How do you kill half of Mexico? You use nuclear weapons in major cities.

You're momma's so fat..Oh wait she's not.