There is a man who is half black half Jewish. He walking up a hill really fast. What happens to him? Answer: The Jewish side of his body will fall off and the black side will walk away.

jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water jack collapsed because of serious drug abuse and stress jill followed after not being able to handle the tragedy of her brothers death this wouldn't have happened if they got into my van when i asked them too.

What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

why did the plane crash? because fenton was driving it..."THE DEER HAD TO DIE"

Why did the Kitty stop meowing? Because its dead.

How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? 23

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had herpes.

is this the krusty crab? no this is child services were taking your children.

Your maternal figure contains so many Triglycerides, her belt size is greater than or equal to the circumference of the Earth.

Q. What's louder than one dinosaur? A. A whole bunch of dinosaurs.

Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Guess no ones home.

what's the difference between fulham and sunderland ? hugh grant and lilly allen's dad

You're so ugly you got rejected from the zoo.

Ipod to earbuds: "hey buds" earbuds response: "sup player"

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it.

What do you call someone who takes a toaster into their bath? Adele's number one fan.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The Holocaust.

A boy has a penis, a girl has a vagina.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Your family is dead. Your family is dead, who? Your family is dead.

What do Bear Grylls drink under breakfast? Tea.

And so i say to the preist ........... pass the bananas

What is red,brown and stinks? A deer that's hit by a car

So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

A black man, hispanic man, and white man walk in to a bar. They are all friends. They enjoy a few beers together then call a taxi to take them home because it is irresponsible to operate a motor vehicle while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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