Knock Knock! Who's there? Penis... Okay...

what did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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What did the man say when he was asked if he recently saw a mime painting a lawn chair in the middle of December? "No." , and walked away, slightly confused by the matter.

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? The bench can support a family.

A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead walk into a bar. There is also a woman with black hair standing outside, and the man next to her is bald.

where are you?

A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

The WNBA

Knock Knock Who's there? A mormon *slam*

Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

Why was it sad that the kid was playing football? He had no arms and legs and he was the football.

The answer: He is dead! (read it throughout so you cant go wrong) Question: So why cant a man in Italia marry his widows sister? Moral: Had yet to read one like this one...

If a man has a gun, but no arms or legs, is he armed?

Yo mamma is so fat she needs a highly dangerous gastrointestinal bypass and if she dies you will wish she had made more of an effort to diet.

Why did the the chicken cross the road? Escape.

why did the chicken cross the road? i don;t know, that's why i was asking you

Why wasn't there a rainbow? It didn't rain.

Why didnt the chicken cross the road? -Its a chicken you dumb shit.

Why did the man stand on one foot? Because he had one leg.

this is an anti joke THIS IS NOT A JOKE O:

What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dog

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he was dead.

What did pikachu say when his trainer was murdered? Pikachu.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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