- Anti Joke

A soccer player, a basketball player, a football player, a hockey player, and a baseball player all walk into a bar at different time periods of the day

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock WHAT THE F*** DO YOU WANT?!?!?!?! Oh, well then nevermind

Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A:Nothing. They're tubes of glue. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said object is, are not capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

I cut my pubes, Now they itch a lot.

knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

What do you call a orange striped zebra? No not a tiger stupid its a orange striped zebra duh!

knock knock, who's there, white, white who, white van, RUN!

What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

Why is ya dad ya dad? ........ because of ya cousin

A drunk man walks out of a bar, goes home and abuses his wife.

If you asked an alzheimer's patient what the meaning of life is, what answer would you get? Probably an answer that doesn't respond to the question but is bound to be hilarious.

what to you call a black person that flies planes? a pilot YOU RACIST

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What do a grape and a reindeer have in common? They're both purple, except the reindeer.

My mom.

I like to eat people

How many ears does Chuck Norris have? Two.

A soccer player, a basketball player, a football player, a hockey player, and a baseball player all walk into a bar at different time periods of the day

What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock WHAT THE F*** DO YOU WANT?!?!?!?! Oh, well then nevermind

Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A:Nothing. They're tubes of glue. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said object is, are not capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

I cut my pubes, Now they itch a lot.

knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

What do you call a orange striped zebra? No not a tiger stupid its a orange striped zebra duh!

knock knock, who's there, white, white who, white van, RUN!

What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

Your Mom

Why is ya dad ya dad? ........ because of ya cousin

HTML

Wanna hear a joke? A joke.

whats long and black? a baton

A drunk man walks out of a bar, goes home and abuses his wife.

If you asked an alzheimer's patient what the meaning of life is, what answer would you get? Probably an answer that doesn't respond to the question but is bound to be hilarious.

what to you call a black person that flies planes? a pilot YOU RACIST

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??