What's more boring than watch grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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what do you call four black people in a red sleeping bag? -a very snug sleeping bag as they can rarely fit more then one person comfortably

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A guy walks into the bathroom, sits down and poops.

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What's black and white, and red all over? A police car. Well, maybe it's not red all over. Just that little light on top. Oh, and the tail lights.

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Who wears a forest ranger's hat and carries a can of kerosene? An arsonist who happens to be a forest ranger.

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"This is not a drill!" - guy holding a hammer

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Boy: BRB Girl: OK. *Two hours later* Boy: Back. Girl: What took you so long? Boy: Someone asked why I loved you. Girl: Aw, that's so s- Boy: I know! I had no idea who he was! I had to call the cops.

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What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

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how do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Call the police and have them deal with the tragedy.

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Steering Wheel Face.

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what's the difference between a lamborghini and you're mother. cars don't scream when you rape them

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The awkward moment when you notice its 2012 and we're all gonna die, so you buy and elephant and name him John.

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3 men- Greg-Allen-And James were on their way back from the bar. When the driver, Greg spun out of control. All of them died Instantly. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told them. " The better you were with Relationships, And loving just one person. The better Transportation you got." He bagan handing things out. " Well, Greg. Looks like you cheated on your most recent Girlfriend... Twice. You get a Bike." Next was Allen " Allen! Shame on you! You have dated 4 women at once! You get a Scooter!" And last was James. " James! You have stayed true to your wife! And all of your other ex- girlfriends. You get a Mustang!" Allen and Greg seen james, Sitting on his car, Upset. "Man! Whats wrong? You have the best thing you could get! I'd be happy!" James looks up and says " Thanks guys, But I just seen my Wife on A skateboard.."

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Why so serious? Why bad grammar?

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How do you get a bunch of Pokémon onto a bus? You tell them to ride a bus

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newt gingrich

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3 ducks are sitting in a pond. one with blonde feathers. one with brown feathers, and one with white feathers. A Transvestite Inbred Donkey Man kills them instantly.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's just been shot, despite the fact that zebra hunting is illegal.

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your mother is so lesbian

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whats the difference between santa claus and jewish people santa claus goes down the chimney and jewish people go up

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Why did Billy fall down? Because his brain was replaced with a piece of toast.

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What smells, tastes, and looks like trash? Garbage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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