How many dogs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Dogs don't have thumbs.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue You wouldn't know that Cause you're a dog.

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why did they plain crash? cause of gravity stupid

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What is the best joke ever? 1D

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A: That's a catchy song! B: You know what else is catchy? A: What? :) B: Herpes. Awkward silence.

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Are tomatoes more scary than onions? No. They are not more scary than onions.

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A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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What is white and long? A New York winter

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All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

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What is Black, White and Asian? A Panda Bear

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Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

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What's black and white and red all over? Half a black face and half a white face after going through a blender

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Try this on your friends and make them look dumb So a plane crashes on the border between the USA and Canada. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury the survivors.

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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A man fell in a hole. He's dead now...

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What's white, black, red, and flies? An airplane pilot with a battleaxe driven into his head

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Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

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Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

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What did the cheerleader get for christmas? Money, because she's a stupid w hore

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What's worse than falling in the mud whilst wearing a suit? Burying your parents.

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An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

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What happens when you get caught inside a tornado? You don't, the debris around you will most certainly kill you before you get close to the tornado.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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