what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot was a potato.

What's harder than nailing a dead baby on a tree? My dick while doing it.

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? What do you mean what's the difference?!?! One of them is a fucking elephant!

Why did the duck walk on the moon? Because it was his lifelong goal

A stipper walked into a club, though it was a golf club so she tripped and cracked her skull on it.The end.

Q) A Christian, slightly disabled but perfectly capable man has a packet of Jaffa Cakes. He strolls casually toward the edge of a cliff, rapidly checking his watch. The man slowly examins the packet before gradually opening the packaging. First the box, then the packet. He quickly throws the jaffa cakes over the edge of the cliff, Why? A) The man doesnt like jaffa cakes

It's red or yellow but most likely grey, and when its hit your eye you are dead? A train :)

What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

Your mom is so ugly that she had self-esteem problems and severe depression as a teenager due to merciless bullying due to her looks, however she overcame this, found a man who loved her for who she was, and then married him. She now lives a happy life.

A bear wakes up from hibernation and is hungry. He sees a nearby forest cabin and decides to see if he can find food inside. The bear breaks into the cabin and thus the people staying there frantically run away to call animal control.

what's worse then death? finding that your adopted, no one loves you and you mother raped you at the tender age of five.

A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

What is the sun's favorite day of the week? The sun is a mass of incadescent gas and cannot feel emotions; therefore, it cannot have a favorite day of the week.

someone called someone else a frog

What do you get when you cross black man and a Hispanic woman A child that is a combination of both ethnic groups

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Ron Sparks.

Your mother is so fat that she has a very big butt and large breasts, which is quite attractive to some men, especially if they are open-minded.

Why did the black man buy a gun? Because he and his family live in a dangerous neighborhood.

why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

Why did the Cross chicken the road? Because it wasn't the way to the Lord

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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