hi charles lattuca III

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Bond. Bond who? James Bond. na-na NA NA na-na na

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If 2 wrongs make a right and 2 rights make a wrong, then when you have 4 rights=2 wrongs, you have a true statement. If you have 8 rights = 4 wrongs, you have a verified statement.

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welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

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what's the square root of pi? nothing. why would you add roots to pie, how gross.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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what didn't Jon go to the movies? He tripped and broke his neck and cant look up

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what did the little boy say to his mom? nothing his mother died in childbirth.

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What did the unicorn eat for a snack? Nothing. Unicorns are a majestic fiction animal.

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A woman walking alone through a poor area of town. She is approached by a man who proceeds to mug her, rape her, and murder her.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What do you call a smart phone that doesn't want to work? The first conscious phone ever

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie!

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Why was Billy lat to school? He was being raped.

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you give like i give lomain

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What's the difference between a bench and a black guy? A bench can support a family

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Q1: How do you get an elephant to laugh? A1: Tell it a joke. Q2: How do you get a cow to laugh? A2: Cows can't laugh.

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The Lord told Moses to come forth. He tripped and came fifth.

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Why did the gay kid drop his ice cream Because he got punched in the face.

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Q: Why did the man have sex with Amanda Seyfried? A: Are you kidding me?

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a tiger swims into the indian ocen and eats a tuna. the tiger shortly dies

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What has 4 legs and doesn't move? A child born in Chernobyl.

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what the difference between a dog and a blue whale? im going to burn your house down

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How do you make a man cry? you torture him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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