One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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Simon says.. Nothing because he's deaf.

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A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Who. Who who? "My name ism't really who, it's Thomas. I thought it'd be funny if I made you say who who, as though imitating an owl. However, I understand that childish jokes like that are not funny and if anything stupid and immature. I am sorry for wasting your time. I will go continue my solitary life alone in a crappy tenement... Damn government. They have money to fight wars against foreign countries and yet no money goes to feeding the poor. Do you think life of easy for me loving like this?! I'm such a lost cause not even my own parents want to see me! And I'll be damned if they're still alive. A dad who beat me and got drunk even night, and a mom with breast cancer"(Thomas, overwhelmed, proceeds to have a mental breakdown). The man at the door comes out to comfort him. "It's alright man. i'll help you out." He let's Jeffrey stay with him for the next four months. They both get raped by a T-Rex.

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Q) why did jimmy kick the bucket. A) Because his dad is an alcoholic and Beats him to the point of near death, so He takes his anger out by kicking anatomit Objects such as a bucket.

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What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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What do you call a man who is walking into walls and poles? A blind man who really needs your help.

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why did the chicken cross the road, but didnt make it he didnt cross it. he was pushed by a band of gang members and hit by a bus

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good pick up line hey baby have u seen my heart cuz i think you stole it

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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How many seeds does a watermelon have? None. It is seedless.

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A police man pulls over a blonde for speeding. The policeman tells her she was speeding and starts to write a ticket. She get emotional and begins to cry. He writes the ticket, she signs it, and she drives off.

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When does the ice cream get thrown at the yellow horse on thursday evening? Purple Monkey Rainbow

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Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

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A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

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How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Who the f*** let out the chicken

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Why did the penguin die? It got eaten.

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Knock Knock The doors already open

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what happened when Bob told a joke? Joe laughed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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