Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

What do you call a black Englishmen? Rodger

Why did the guy fail his driving test? He was blind.

Q: What's your dog's name ? A: Dog. Q: What's your cat's name ? A: Cat. Q: What's your dick's name A: Pinky

As they went down the hill Jack tripped on a rock, falling breaking many bones including his neck. In all the hysteria, Jill fell too, however she landed on a rock and now has severe dementia. This was all for a pail of water.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

i hate when your sentence doesn't end as you testicle.

What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

Whats brown and sticky? - A brown stick.

What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

What's worse than dropping your ice cream? The Holocaust

Two penguins in a bath tub, one says "Pass me the soap" and the other one says "What do you think I am, a radio!"

What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

So a man walks into a bar and gets drunk.

What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes.

I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

Why did the little girl fall off of the swing set? Because she didn't have any arms.

What do you do to get someone to shut up? You hit with a brick

What is green, and could kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.

Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

What happens when you forget your parachute as you jump out of a plane? You wake up.

A man shouts a women crossing the road "Oi, get your rat out love!" So she did, and it savaged his face.

why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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