What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

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How do you burn Lebron James's house? With fire.

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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Q: Why did the boy fall of the swing? A: He had no arms.

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A man goes to his doctor and says, "Help me, my wife thinks she's a chicken." The doctor recommends a nearby psychiatrist to analyze the wife's mental instability, and inevitably she is housed in an insane asylum. The husband commits suicide.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Jews are human beings. Pizza is a type of food.

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Shltskc gw? G

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Why did the black guy stop his car? There was a stop sign

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Why did Quinn yell at his group project partner? Because he hated him.

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A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

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Friend's sister: how many seconds are in 12 o'clock Friend: alot Friend's sister: WELL THEN 12 O'CLOCK IS A REWERJAJSBDKDJDHRJRJFHFKRJRIDBDKSBSDJ *slams door*

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Tell me you're a rapist. You're a rapist. This joke makes no sense. Mashed potatoes.

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What do you call a gay man? Homosexual

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Where did Sarah go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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Wanna know how to confuse a blonde? No. I wanna know which way you would prefer to die.

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Q: What's more silly than the idea of a wealthy, successful black man? A: A Clown

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Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

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Q: Why did the Jew fit in with the White people? A: Because he, and his compatriots, have accepted the view of Judaism as a religion, and perhaps a lifestyle -- but not a race.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? William. William who? You friend...William...you invited me over.. Can I come in?

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Q: What did the dog say the cat? A: nothing, because dogs cannot speak, and even if they could, I highly doubt they would speak cat.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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