whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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Why did the little boy ride his bike to school? It was a birthday present.

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why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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Patient: "So what seems to be the problem doc? Doctor: "I'm afraid you have AIDS. I'm sorry."

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Q: What cat walks on two feet? A: Garfield Q: What mouse walks on two feet? A: Mickey Mouse Q: What duck walks on two feet? A: Donald Duck? A: No, all ducks you dipshit.

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3 Blondes walk into a bar. One ducks, the other two are hospitalized with mild concussions

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died

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What did the Asian man say to the Mexican man? Nothing, due to the language barrier.

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Who gave Miley Cyrus her new haircut? Hellen Keller

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Why did the boy fall down the stairs? Because he tripped.

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Q:whats the difference between a black man and a bunk bed A: a bunk bed can support 2 kids

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John: hey wats up? Bob: gas prices!

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how did the kenyan get away from the cup He didnt he got arrested

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Why didnt santa leave presents under the tree? Because santa doesnt exist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

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Raveena Thandhan

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

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What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

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Why'd the black man smell awful... Because he hadn't showered in multiple days

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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