the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

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Once upon a time, there were a lot of Jews......

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What's hard, long and screws a blond? An IQ test.

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Haikus are easy but some of them don't make sense but some of them do

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

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How do you kill half the Mexican population? through a penny of a cliff. How do you kill the other half? Tell them its still down there.

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Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

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What did the Mexican man say to the black man? Hello, how are you today?

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"Sticks and stones" the man said and shat on three different complex turtles

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Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

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Why did Sally fall off her swing? -she had no arms knock knock whos there not Sally

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How many dead babies can you fit in a tire? It depends on the size of the tire.

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What did one fat chick say to the other fat chick? Who cares, they're fat.

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Where is Sally hiding? She was kidnapped and has probably been murdered, I lied about her hiding.

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timmy has no arms knock knock whos there? NOT TIMMY!!!

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, because he is an orphan.

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Why did the boy stay in the closet? Because the door was locked.

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What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

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you just read an anti-joke

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I heard you like getting dirty, so I got a dump truck to dump dirt on your bed so you can get dirty while you get dirty.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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What's the difference between camping and molestation? I wasn't taken camping as a child

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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