what do friends and trees have in common? If you hit them with an axe multiple times they fall over

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "I was born with an extra chromosome."

What do you call a black man playing golf? A golfer.

Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

Why did the KFC worker dislike his job? He was paid lower than minumum wage due to the plummeting economy.

Why did the young Mexican apply for a job at McDonalds? The economy is down and his family could use the extra money.

What was the cancer patients last wish? For the pain to go away...Yolo...-Avery Scott Vartanian

A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

A man walks into a bar, he now has a mild concussion

What's pink and when you press a button it turns red? A baby in a blender. What's pink and when you hit it against the wall sounds metallic? A baby with two forks stuck in its eyes.

Roses aren't blue Violets aren't red She was my ex wife But now she's just dead.

A young baby died.

Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

Q: Why didn't the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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Lewis

How do you make an electrician cry? Kill his family.

Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

So a guy with a machine gun walks into a bank, makes a deposite and leaves.

What is Ron afraid of? Spiders!

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

How fast can you paint a fence with babies? Depends how fast you can throw them.

Thumbs up if u dont have aids:)

A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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